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Herb: Hold it right there, Coral.
Coral: Huh?
H: I have a surprise waiting for you.
C: Oh? What kind of surprise?
H: It’s in the bedroom.
C: Huh, there hasn’t been a surprise in there for thirty years, Herb.
H: Well, I promise, there’s one in there right now. Go on!
C: Can I turn around now?
H: OK… go!
H: SURPRISE!
C: Oh Herb. Oh, HERB!!!
C: Omigosh, hello little guy! Aren’t you just the cutest thing ever in this whole wide world!
H: Happy anniversary!
C: Come here, you wonderful man.
Clark’s reign of terror commences.
Also at Pepe’s Pets:
Meadow and Hatbox (seriously, whatta name) get acquainted and have some fun.
Meadow: You’re such a friendly girl! And so pretty.
Randy: Cute dog. Is she yours?
M: Oh no. A stray.
R: I couldn’t help noticing how sweet you were with her. I like a girl who like dogs.
M: *blushes*
R: I’m Randy.
M: Meadow.
Hatbox: KISSSSS
Herb takes Clark to Pepe’s Pets to get him the necessary provisions, where Clark quickly makes a friend named (wait for it…) HATBOX.
Fortuitously, after Coral had left for work that morning, a stray named Clark wandered past. Herb (me) quickly became obsessed and adopted him… for Coral (me).
I mean, seriously. How could this cutie not be adopted instaneously?!?!
“Herb?”
“Mmmm?”
“I want to adopt again. Or something.”
“Or something.”
The next afternoon, Coral and Herb throw an anniversary party.
Angela doesn’t show up and Lilith teases Ivy into a furious state, which Christy keenly observes.
Coral’s as surprised as I am that Mary-Sue and Daniel still show affection in public.
Passerby Ivy Copur both delights and infuriates me by ruining Coral’s earlier garden work.
Look at that face though. How could I be mad?
– What’re you doing now, Mrs C?
Mrs Crumplebottom: Knitting a Christmas sweater.
– Why? It’s summer in Pleasantview.
Mrs C: Because that’s Don Lothario.
– So?
Mrs C: Seeing a noted whore like him downtown is like Christmas to me.
Herb: See, honey? Nobody sa- wait, NOBODY?
Mrs Crumplebottom: On the contrary, I stood right outside and listened to the whole sickening exchange.
Coral: Ew.
MC: What an understatement. DEPLORABLE BEHAVIOUR!
*beats Coral*
C: Wait, why are you just hitting me? My husband was there too!
MC: It’s a woman’s job in society to keep her decorum high at all times.
H: I’ll go rack up another game of pool. Come over when you’re done, Coral.
C: YOUR OUTDATED AND SEXIST IDEOLOGY WILL NOT BE TOLERATED, YOU OLD HYPROCRITE! I’LL CALL THE POLICE AND HAVE YOU CHARGED WITH ASSAULT.
MC: I own the Police. Don’t tempt me to put in a call, myself. Lewd conduct, indeed.
H: Hon, what’re you doing?
C: Let’s really piss the old bitch off.
Mikexx2 