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Herb: Hold it right there, Coral.
Coral: Huh?
H: I have a surprise waiting for you.
C: Oh? What kind of surprise?
H: It’s in the bedroom.
C: Huh, there hasn’t been a surprise in there for thirty years, Herb.
H: Well, I promise, there’s one in there right now. Go on!
C: Can I turn around now?
H: OK… go!
H: SURPRISE!
C: Oh Herb. Oh, HERB!!!
C: Omigosh, hello little guy! Aren’t you just the cutest thing ever in this whole wide world!
H: Happy anniversary!
C: Come here, you wonderful man.
Fortuitously, after Coral had left for work that morning, a stray named Clark wandered past. Herb (me) quickly became obsessed and adopted him… for Coral (me).
I mean, seriously. How could this cutie not be adopted instaneously?!?!
“Herb?”
“Mmmm?”
“I want to adopt again. Or something.”
“Or something.”
The next afternoon, Coral and Herb throw an anniversary party.
Angela doesn’t show up and Lilith teases Ivy into a furious state, which Christy keenly observes.
Coral’s as surprised as I am that Mary-Sue and Daniel still show affection in public.
Herb: See, honey? Nobody sa- wait, NOBODY?
Mrs Crumplebottom: On the contrary, I stood right outside and listened to the whole sickening exchange.
Coral: Ew.
MC: What an understatement. DEPLORABLE BEHAVIOUR!
*beats Coral*
C: Wait, why are you just hitting me? My husband was there too!
MC: It’s a woman’s job in society to keep her decorum high at all times.
H: I’ll go rack up another game of pool. Come over when you’re done, Coral.
C: YOUR OUTDATED AND SEXIST IDEOLOGY WILL NOT BE TOLERATED, YOU OLD HYPROCRITE! I’LL CALL THE POLICE AND HAVE YOU CHARGED WITH ASSAULT.
MC: I own the Police. Don’t tempt me to put in a call, myself. Lewd conduct, indeed.
H: Hon, what’re you doing?
C: Let’s really piss the old bitch off.
Herb and Coral’s date gets saucy.
Like, REALLY saucy.
Coral: Herb, I’ve never woohooed in public before!
Herb: It’s a cinch.
C: But what if people hear us?
H: That’s the best part!
However, absolutely nobody came to watch.
Coral and Herb enjoy Date Night at Red’s Diner. ❤
Herb.
Right at a time when his family really needs him, the reaper comes for Herb. 😦
He’s my first old-age death in the uberhood so far.
Coral and Mary-Sue’s pain is distressing, but the cats’ grief is cutting me up.
RIP Herb.
C: I always thought that maid was such a sweet girl. I never thought she’d be a… a…
M-S: Home-wrecking trollop?
C: *shifts uncomfortably*
H: Do the girls know yet?
M-S: Not yet. I don’t-
C: Is there any hope of you two getting back together, for their sake?
M-S: No, mom. He cheated on me.
C: Oh, they’re going to be so upset.
Mikexx2 